Give the Gift of Allowance

christmasPlease excuse my lack of postings over the past few weeks. There is a good reason for it though. I promise 🙂 I’ve been dedicating my time to reading the thousands (yes, you read it correctly) the thousands of pages of Reference Material notes, so that I could become a Certified Facilitator in Access Consciousness®. You most likely would have heard of Access before, as I’ve been using the tools in my daily life for the past 7+ years, and mentioning a few of them in various Be genki blog posts. Anyway, it’s time to pop the champagne as next year I’ll be offering all sorts of wonderful Access Consciousness courses to share the tools and one of the ‘hands-on’ body processes (Access Bars®) with you. Exciting huh!

But for the now, with Christmas only a couple of weeks away, I have been hearing all sorts of stories about how this time of year can be stressful, traumatic and worrisome for most people. Most of the stories revolve around putting on a ‘happy face’ for the holidays even though throughout the rest of the year there is backstabbing, bitching and unkindness between family members.

What if it didn’t have to be this way?

Now more than ever I am so grateful for the choices that my family has gifted me, and how this brought with it a genuine like for each other and desire to spend time with one another when we do come together. We’re not perfect. But what I love is that we don’t place demands on each other. There is no expectation from my parents for us to all be together at Christmas, so as a result, they know that whoever is there, genuinely desires to be there. There’s no pretending. If we desire to see each other, we get on a plane to see other. (slight geographical hurdles with us living in 3 different countries). And in those instances when the plane travel makes it slightly more challenging, then we do our best to make the trip to the other country as soon as we can.

I’m certainly not trying to paint an idyllic picture that my family is the perfect Brady Bunch. Far from it. We are all very different from one another, have contrasting points-of-views about things, and have our own lives and ways of doing and being. But one of the beautiful Access tools that has helped me enjoy even more happiness, joy and ease in my life and living, especially with loved ones is to recognise everything as ‘an interesting point-of-view’.

What I mean by this, is as follows:

Do you find yourself arguing about what is “right” or “wrong”? What if what you see as absolute truth is just your own interesting point-of-view? Who’s to say that your point-of-view is “right” and someone else’s “wrong”? What’s the point anyway? Proving that you’re right and they’re wrong and inadequate just makes them feel bad about themselves. The more time you focus on judging and criticizing the choices other people make, the less time you have available to enjoy and create your own exciting life.

Do you find yourself judging and criticizing loved ones? Friendships are an absolute gift. So why on earth would we choose to treat our friends and lovers with anything else but complete kindness and respect?

It’s very easy to blame the person nearest to you for something else that’s going on in your life. We’re all guilty of it. Well maybe all of us. I’m certain that my grandmother truly was an angel, for I never heard a nasty word come out of her mouth. So much so that the wrinkles on her face were “happy wrinkles”. A beautiful woman who inspires me to be a better version of me every day.

But back to where I was … if you do find yourself in a stressful situation this holiday season where you’re likely to take it out on those around you, please remove yourself from their presence. Take a walk, a bath, three deep breaths, or whatever else it is that helps you become more calm and clear. Or whisper in your head “interesting point-of-view that I have this point-of-view”. Makes for much happier relationships and friendships.

This holiday season, give the gift of allowance. Before you step in to judge or prove that you’re ‘right’ ask yourself … is it kind? is it necessary? If you get a ‘no’ to either of these questions, please keep quiet. Do this for the next two weeks and see the difference in your life, and the way in which people interact with you.

And for those of you who would like to sprinkle a little extra kindness amongst your family and friends in the form of physical gifts, and would like a little inspiration, check out our CHRISTMAS GIFT GUIDE.

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